The Art of real friendship.

Lately, I've had reasons to start  taking a closer look at  some of the people whom I call my "friends" and realized that most of these "friends"  are not really  my friends but more like acquaintances that could become real genuine friends.

What is really at the heart of the art of friendship is love. Yes, love. When was the last time you told your best friend that you love them?  When was the last time you were totally honest with your best friend?  When was the last time you went beyond the call of duty to show your support and commitment to the ones whom you call, "friends?"  Those are loaded questions.  What it boils down to is this; most of us could count on our finger,  the amount of real friends we have. That's the gospel truth.

In this the 21st century, "friends" have a whole new meaning.  The next time you declare that someone is your friend take a moment and really inspect that thought and see if that friend is really a friend or a friend to be because believe it or not too much energy is being used up spending time with people who do not care one flying fart about you and they're your friends.

Friends come in all types, you have the friends that call you only when they have big issues and are looking for a sounding board.  You have friends that are seeking others to entertain them. Friends who simply want someone, anyone to pass the time with because anything is better than being with the self.

These thoughts got me started thinking about those in my circle that I call friends and low and behold yes, like everyone else there are in this world three people that I know will come to my funeral or my wake whether or not it is raining, snowing or sunshine. These are my friends: I, me, and myself. These three are always with me in good times and not so good times and all the times. They are with me when I fail and when I succeed, when I am sad and when I am joyously  happy. They are with me when I am in love and when I'm out of love. They are my true friends because even when I am afraid they stick around to help me conquer fear.

The true art of friendship begins with friendship with the self. Today for the first time in a long time I consciously gave thanks for the gifts that I have been given, my talents, my personality, my inner strength and outer weaknesses and for my over all operating systems; everything that keeps me moving even when I am not.


So yes, I am best friend to myself because I am always there for me, and I never just show up I am in IT.

Live your best life ever!

Cheers.

Your Money and your Love

Over the past twenty years of meeting with  and counseling hundreds of clients on their financial matters; I've noticed that couples, whether married, or common law face the dilemma of disclosing financial information.  Why is this so?  It occurred to me that in every relationship there will always be one person who will be more financially engaged than the other.  This can be both positive and negative depending on the particular situation and the quality of the relationship. There is no doubt about it, money is as important in a relationship as the love itself.  A relationship where financial affairs are not clear and open to each partner will create conflict, deep conflict. 

Working couples who are both bread winners and are both engaged in their financial affairs are more apt to be at odds with each other when one person puts him/herself above the other in terms of productivity and income.  The value in a relationship goes beyond dollars and cents, it goes beyond trust, it is all about a sense of team work. Working together to build a future for both to enjoy.  Couples are reluctant, I suspect because I believe deep in their subconscious they're thinking their marriage might not last the test of time and so folks are always hedging their bets to make sure what's their's is their's and what's ours is mine.  No kidding. I've seen it all.

With the onslaught of marriages that are  breaking  down it is understandable that income generation and assets accumulation takes on a more pragmatic vein in the 21st century.  Almost everyone knows of a couple whose marriage ended and one of the couple is living in near poverty while the other prospers.  Of course  this always depends on the one who has the deepest pocket - with enough resources to make sure they get their just dessert.

In my opinion, the best way to handle this dilemma is to understand that no one knows what the future holds.  Our lives is based upon hope. Hope. That's it.  We hope everyday that we remain healthy and strong to do the things we do and enjoy doing.  We hope everyday that our lovers and children will be loyal and devoted to us. We hope everyday that the job we make so many  personal sacrifices for will be there for us so that we can continue to enjoy the lifetstyle we've grown accustomed to. There are no guarantees. One thing is for sure though,  two people can do far more than one person can and that is why relationships are perfect for wealth accumulation and personal growth. So, don't hide that bank account or that investment that you started because you didn't want your mate to know you are not putting all your eggs in one basket. Make this part of your relationship as transparent as possible. Because most relationships break down over money not for the lack of it but for the mismanagement of money.

Fall is the season where folks start to think seriously about their investments and financial resources, especially after a very wonderful summer. Lots of money spent into the economy, yes, that is very good and perhaps lots of debts acquired and you say, "What the hell, I'll be working till I'm dead anyway but meantime, I'll be living the life of Riley." Be careful, bad debt gives bad credit rating and without financial credibility you are screwed.

More on money and love to come in the coming months.


Live your best life ever.